Monday's Animals

Having a child that adores animals (think Whisperer) can be tricky sometimes.

On the one hand, they're always up for adventuring, because there is a chance to see hawks and eagles, lizards, snakes, and other wild things,

and on the other there's the caring, and watching out for the tender heart.

Maddie had been asking about volunteering, again (she has since she was about four), so today was the day we went to a farm / petting zoo, for just that.
(We found one that allows children!  Hooray!)

After a quick intro to some of the animals,

Maddie sat with the bunnies, getting to know them,

and then introduced them to families visiting the farm,

helping them to hold and pet them.

A couple of times I offered suggestions, but no, Maddie knew better than I.

She had it handled.  Of course.

We go again in a few days!
I think she'll love it.  ♥

Sunday : Juiced

There we were, enjoying a slow holiday weekend (at home, in town)... no plans, we'd had two days of puttering at home... perfectly content and quiet.

Yesterday morning I woke up, and soon thereafter my brain kicked into Adventure gear, and it started humming and buzzing and shooting out ideas of things that I (It?) want to do, soon...

I want to Make!  It shouted.
Automata!  And soap! (It's been a while.)
Encaustic art!  It's almost fall... time to get out the wax!
Hands in clay!  My mind insisted, and weaving reeds and grasses!
We need glass and frames for stained glass art!  And don't forget about paper jack-o-lanterns!
Wire!  Armature, and art with wire and those gorgeous glass hand-painted beads!
Nature mandalas!  Caramel apples!  Spin some yarn!

Then my mind started really getting into this whole venturing out thing... (I suspect that this is how I survive the end of summer, every year...this, and opening my windows and doors...)
Now!  My mind was urging.

To This is the Place!  It shouted.  That's our living history museum.
And find out when Spooky Science (at our very cool science/art/tech museum) starts!  Go soon!  Go twice!
It's time to go find the wild horses!  Visit ghost towns!
Go to Antelope Island, and see the bison and coyotes... go marvel at the tall golden grasses that you love so much!
Look for woolly-bear caterpillars up the canyon!  Walk around Silver Lake--it's beautiful in the early fall!
You must go to the Observatory, soon, for the star party!
Dye t-shirts!
Go find owl pellets!

Inspired, I was.  Well and truly.

So I went to get Maddie, to see if the madness was contagious... and while she wasn't quite as overcome as I, (as she was asleep at the time) she supposed that going shopping might be a fine idea.

New canvases!  Eight of them.
New sets of markers! (Everyday markers... we still have our art markers) Three very large stacks of new white paper.  Glue sticks!  New pairs of scissors!  Acrylic paints!  Colored chalk (in colors we don't have)!

 

 Seven new paint brushes!  T-shirts for inkodye!  Twine!  Jute!  Wire!  Scotch tape! (Four for me, four for MaddieMine.)

Maddie and I got home eventually, and after puttering and recording the ideas (mustn't be forgetting, now), one idea kept raising its hand....

"Hey, guys?"  Hmm...seems like a good enough day for it... "Wanna go look for owl pellets?  There's this park we could go to....."
Someone in our unschooling group had mentioned a few days ago (after someone else asked "where to find?") that on the very edge of our valley there is a park where one might find owl pellets. 
That's about all the info I had. 
Hmmm.  Eric was going to work.... it's Sunday, and a holiday weekend, so not much traffic... nothing pressing to do.... could we?
"Sure." said the babes.  They were indulging me.  That's okay.  We do that in our family, sometimes.

Everyone's fed, fill up a bottle of water, grab camera gear and phone... let's go.

We got to the park, and I was a bit surprised.  It was not a large park. 
"Hmm," I said skeptically.  "Well--she said the east side, so let's just take Lou for a walk this way... we'll look around for a while.  I'm not sure."

Down one row, and back up another, meandering along, watching the ground.

"Hey mom... is that a nest up there?" asked Trev.
"What?" I asked, and looked up.
"Is it an owl?" he asked.  "I can't tell what it is."  It was verra high up there.
"It could be an owl.... I think it might be!"
"It moved!" from Maddie, "It's an owl!"

Great Horned Owl

Sure enough.
"Yep," I said, while looking through my zoom lens, "he's looking down at us, now, can you see?"
Beautiful.
We watched him, he watched us. 
I stuffed (carefully) my hoodie pockets full of pellets.
"What's that white thing?" Asked Madd, "are there white owls?"
"Yeah, there are snowy owls... where do you see white?" I ask, scanning the tree, straight over us.
"Oh, I see it!  Yes!  That's another one!" 

More pellets.  And pretty pinecones.
"It's moving!  It's looking at us!"

So awesome.
How wonderful.

We watched them until we had our fill,
but even still, it was hard to leave them.

But we were still so excited about our adventure,
and knew that we could come back again.

In the car we called Dad (who was at work) to tell him our news, and to invite ourselves in to dinner.

So patio dining,

then to home.

It's funny that way, this life;
the inspiration and Goodness will always come.
Sometimes it comes in waves
(as it did the other day when we started filling our calendar with playdates with our unschoolers),
and all of a sudden life is brimming with delight and sparkly abundance.

Sometimes the enlivenment comes in new bottles of paint, and sometimes it comes when we curiously go around the corner, to see what we can see.

It's a goodly sort of life, this.

All is well.

At Rest

Friday (the day following four days of camping) saw us lolling about--unpacking, playing on computers, arranging action figures.
"Wanna go...." asked me.
"No." from my three.
"I want to go for a bike ride, or two." Says Trev, "and make lemonade.  Maybe cookies.  Maybe mow the lawn.  You know--do my regular At Home stuff."
"Home" from the other two, as well.

 And so it was.

This left me with time to edit photos from the lake, blog, and think... and wonder.
It's the end of the season, as much as I abhor tossing that acknowledgment out into the Universe.
What's left on our list?
The drive-in.  Seeing the lilies on the water.  Patio living.  Painting outside.  Walking down the street after dark to our local malt shoppe.  A star party at the observatory. 

What new things to come?
What for the children?
What new impellent for these lively unschooled days... what impetus?

Over the day and night I figured there were surely other mamas asking these questions... I mean, for me it's a seasonal or periodic thing, but for some there may be visits from the back-to-school haints.
What do other people do when it comes time for an infusion of sparkles?

This is definitely a secondary reason for my bloggessing.
The first is The Children and The Life, of lesser importance is the sharing.
It's easy to find and explore philosophies, but it ain't always easy to see what that means and looks like in everyday living.  Year after year.  [Smile.]

So.
What for the children, then?
I asked in our valley's unschooling group.
I looked here (and smiled and melted over) previous Augusts and early Septembers.

And then-- then I asked the children.

Funny how you think you know everything about them, when you're a mama.

Including when they're less enthusiastic about their lives.

What Things, Bud?
"Baking." says he, emphatically.  "I think I'm a baker.  I'm so good at making cookies.  And I want to get good at baking more things.  And let's do more chemistry explosions."
Anything you feel like you want to get better at?
"Handwriting.  And we should play games.  And I want to work.  Work like I do now--earn money, and learn how to do more things around here.  Clean dishes.  Help with things."

I've mentioned to a friend or two (but not sure if I've mentioned it here), that this Work thing is a big factor in Trev's life, and has been for the past several months.
He's begun collecting fancy... well, Collectibles.... and is getting intimately familiar with the way money works.
He's learning to prioritize, watch the market for possible hard-to-finds, watching their production dates... debating between the S.H. MonsterArts (very high end-- $100 to $400+) figures, and the more reasonably priced (but still very cool) NECA ones.
He reads reviews, and dialogues reviews.  He creates fierce, fiery battle scenes, and creates comical ones.  He studies joints and points of articulation and supports.
He reads and writes fan-fiction.
He researches monsters and their artists and their films and producers.
He follows the market, makes firm or tentative plans, and he learns about work and money.

Okay, I nod.
"And I want to go to The wAIRhouse (a trampoline park).  With the unschoolers.  And biking with them.  And This Is the Place (our living history museum)."

I talk to Madd, and since I had interrupted her actual play because I wanted to talk about her play, she comes up blank.  "Uuh...."
But she manages to get out "Yes!  Baking!" after hearing Trevy's list, "And I want to learn more cooking!  And I want animation software.  And it's time for more LPS.  And we should do more of those experiments... like on HooplaKids!"
No sports, no classes, no, not even baking or sewing.  Can learn that here.

Funny that I had so airily dismissed Baking and Work.
And funny that I was thinking that in our usual ways and days we might be getting a little boring...

Thereafter I spent the day researching and moseying online... visiting museum pages, events at libraries, talking with our unschoolers group online about ideas and activities...

And then, there we are, with nearly two dozen events scheduled with our unschoolers for the next two months.  Biking and jumping and hiking and visiting with animals and exploring new places and celebrating and exploding things.
Add to that our family (seasonal) visits to ghost towns and going out to see the wild horses and our trips to our favorite canyons and mountains to see the splendor of the changing seasons...

And just like that, any doubtful feelings or questions of Are We Okay? are gone.

We'll play with our unschoolers.  We'll find snakes on Family Day.  We'll find a really good animation software for a ten year old girl that wants particular features and gadgets.
We'll make music and paint outside and play with math dice and practice strategy and talk philosophy and death and politics and religion.
We'll make jam and rosewater and buttermilk biscuits and sourdough starter.
We'll weave and make faux stained glass art and beautiful nature mandalas.
We'll get out the electrical circuits and gadgets, the magnifying glasses, and the microscope.

We'll live and love and celebrate and inquire and practice and play.
Just as if we wrote it.

Yes-- that'll do.

Tuesday : Asking for Perfect

I started wondering this morning if we were getting a little off course.  That sort of wondering (and wandering) leads to various notions and supposes, and "well, if that doesn't make me happy, what does?"

These thoughts haven't come from being discontent, or because of anything happening -or not happening- but rather due as a regular checking-in.  Something I do often to ensure I'm not making assumptions (thinking I get to choose what makes my children happy and alive), and the assessment also reigns in the "I'm the boss" urges, and I get to recalibrate to a more joyful point.

With binoculars and umbrella.

So.  What makes for Perfect?
What are my favorite things?
What makes me spin up to the clouds?
What is it that makes me want to weep with the pure joy of the thing, at the end of a day?

Good exercise, asking that.

Adventure : I love a fine adventure.  Tromping, photographing, wandering, uncovering, seeking...
Stimulation :  I love it when we're stimulated.  Interested.  Inspiration and rabbit holes.
Fulfillment :  Being filled up to the tippety-top with goodliness. Icecream cones, bike rides, music in the park.
The Cool Factor.  Something -anything- extraordinarily cool.
Imagination :  True creativity, ingenuity, inventiveness, make-believe...
Wonder :  Curiosity.
Thrive :  That means happy, curious, and learning.
Sparkle :  Sparkly smiles, sparkly home.

These things run together, hmm?  One leads to three others, or all leads to one.
But practically speaking, if I have managed to enkindle or affect even one of these things in a day, then I figure I have done my job very, very well.

'Investigating Electricity' kit

"Good morning."
"Good morning, darling,"  Snuggle, snuggle. "I was just thinking about what makes me really happy. About my favorite things to do.  What are your favorite things?  What makes you really, really happy?"
"Well, playing with you, going to the park, getting on the computer, finding out new things, going for walks...."
"That's a fine start to the list."
"And playing with stuffed animals."
"If you could design a perfect day, what would it look like?"
"Well, you did say we could go swimming today."
"Yeah.  I don't necessarily mean today... I just mean things that make you go, 'Wow life is good!'"
"I already told you."
"Playing with me, going to the park, getting on the computer, finding out new things, going for walks..."
"And playing with my stuffed animals.  And play with the dog. And have some fun."
"Anything else?"
"Well, there are lots of different things that make me happy!"

I got to Trevelyn, soon after.

"I've been thinking about the way we do things, and what we do, and have been thinking about happiness.  Your happiness.  What makes for a really good day for you?  What are your very favorite things?"
After twelve different ways of asking, we finally got to, "Well, I don't want to be obvious, and say playing on the computer and wii."
"This is your list, Bud.  And I am asking.  Name whatever the things are that make you feel that life is so, so good.  What does a perfect day look like?  Or twelve perfect days?"  Had to explain my version of Perfect to him.  Hmmph.  "I don't mean 'nothing goes wrong', I mean, "Wow! I love my life!  But forget perfect, if you like.... think really, really great.   What are the most fun things for you?"

 Snap Circuits

You might suppose this to be a really obvious question and answer.  You live with and love your son.  What does he like?  But we're talking about the relationship between a very enthusiastic mother, and a little moonchild, who almost always says that he -but not always actually does- prefers to stay, here, in his shell. As Is.  I don't drag him kicking and screaming, but his family does coax and nudge him a bit... which brings up all kinds of questions in the mind and heart of an unschooling Mama who absolutely believes in sovereignty and a tyranny-free childhood.
"Well.  I do like going out and doing fun things.  I like going to lunch, and to get an icecream.  I like going skating, or to the zoo, or the aquarium, and to the dinosaur park.
"And I like playing games with my mom.  Especially Quoridor, Quarto, Pentago, Rumis, Checkers, the Allowance Game, Big Brain, and the pyramid game."
"And you like playing on the computer, and the wii."
"Yeah."
"What is is that you like about the computer?  Besides JPOG?"  (I know the specifics of why 'JPOG'--it's a Jurassic Park game--it's similar to zoo tycoon, only it's just dinosaurs, on an island.  You have to raise them from dna you've dug out of the ground, etc, etc.)
"I like exploring the internet.  Lately I've been playing Godzilla again, so I'm really liking the Tojo Kingdom shorts."
"What's that?"
"Really short animated films that Tojo makes.  They're really funny."
"Ah, I see."  Then, "Are there things that we do that you don't like?  Things you'd like never to see again?"

Quoridor

 "A lot of times at night I get really bored on the computer." (Trev stays up later than the rest of us do, ordinarily--always has.)  "When I get bored like that, I just get off of it, and go to bed.  Sometimes I wish you were there, with ideas of things to do."
"I can't be up at that time, Bud.  I'm just not made that way."
"I know."
"Do you think that if you played on the computer all day, that you would be bored by evening?  That the reason you get bored with it at night is because you've played with Maddie and I a lot during the day, and so when you get on the computer, after a while you just get bored?"
"Yeah."
What I was trying to get to, was a sort of assessment of his life, and a recognition of things that make him happy, and fulfilled.  Not things that I want him to appreciate, just an acknowledgment of good things in his life, so that we might better pursue those goodly things.
"So anything that you don't like?  Never want to see, again?  Do you never want me to ask again you if you want to do such and such?"  Play games, I was thinking... check things out... science investigations....
Again, asking these questions is something I feel compelled to do, as I get really worried about dominating this child's life. 
"No.  If you never asked me if I want to do something... I'd be bored to death, I think."  Quite a realization, that.  Maybe it wasn't news to him, but it sure was good news to me!
"D'you think?"
"Yeah."

 Building molecules

"So what else makes you happy?"
"I like to read my books.  My encyclopedias.  And I like running around outside.  And jumping (on the trampoline).  And biking."
"Anything else?  Anything that makes you feel really good?  Like.... getting along well with Maddie?  Playing with Dad?"
"Yeah!  Both of those things.  It's a good day when Maddie doesn't torment me."
"Yeah... I was thinking more along the lines of you guys playing together, and being happy together."
"Yeah.  It's always good when we play and she doesn't annoy me."  :)  Was trying to get him to see his own part in that tango, but they communicate with each other pretty well for the most part, so I'll let that slide...
"Anything else?  I've been asking you a lot lately how I can love you better, and you never really have any answers for me... this is all connected.  I'm checking in.  I want you to be happy."
"No.  I can't think of anything.  I want to be respected.  But I don't want to be spoiled."
"What does that mean?  That you don't want to be spoiled?"
"I just mean that I don't expect to get anything or everything.  No matter what.  Whenever I want."
"Hmmm."  Like Tv Mike?  Varuca?  Violet?  Upon further questioning, he's referring to Greg's younger brother (Diary of a Wimpy Kid). I think what he means is that he doesn't expect the world to revolve around him. That he knows he's a part of something (family, community, society), and he is aware of others' needs, too.  I told him that we try to find a way for him to get most of what he wants, and we never spank, and he's not spoiled....  but we'll save all that for another day.


Alright, then.
Seems that we're doing alright.
My ideas of happiness are absolutely true for me, and there is an abundance of (infinite!) room in there for the babes' delight, also.  
I truly believe that we're open and accepting enough with our children that they could (and more importantly, would) tell us if something was going the wrong way.  Away from Joy.
The intention of the initial question is to keep communication open of course, but it is also a great way for me to exercise unattachment (being unconditional)... and I have to do everything I can to make it known to my children that they are not responsible for my happiness, while also allowing that their happiness is a cause for my own.

Anyway.
Lots of words to say that... you know...

All is well.

For 2012 : Shine

Every year I start pondering my word for the year by coming up with words, thoughts... things I want it to mean.
In January 2008, my first year for choosing a word for my year (I'd never been a new year's resolution person), I chose Intention.  It seemed to hold together all the things I needed it to.
The next year was Still.  Going within and finding a sacred, quiet space to grow.
The following year was Beauty.  Which I was this close to choosing again this year.
Last year I chose Harmony to be my focus.

This year I was thinking Joy, as always.  :)  (I really am very fond of Joy.)  I read the word Glow somewhere, and almost chose it.... but it wasn't quite right.  I wanted it to have a little more sparkle than that, for it to be just a little bit bigger. 
What I was looking for this year was something wonderful for my children to see.  Years ago, before I had my two babes, my mother had (it's probably still there) a small paper sign on her fridge that said something about letting your eyes light up when a child comes into the room.  I've thought of it many times over the years, and it's something I believe to be a wonderful gift to children.
I want my eyes to light when I see my children.  Light.  That had more of what I wanted than glow.... glow is luminous, mysterious, and quiet... I wanted something bigger like Light. Like Sparkle.  But Sparkle wasn't right, for I needed my word to have a richness, depth...

So I was getting closer.  I wanted something to remind me to come from within.  I want to reflect and recognize beauty.  I want to to make choices that inspire my children.  I want to offer my children and my husband -and my Self- light.  I want to come from a glowing flame within, and to radiate Joy.  I want to shine.

Aah.
Shine.
One of my very favorite words.

I smiled as soon as I thought of it.

Though it felt perfect, I didn't want be rash, so I sat with it for a while.
I went through all of the things that I wanted to be in my life in abundance this year.  How did I want to represent myself?  From where do I want this focus to come?  Does Shine match it? 

It does, I believe.  If cared for rightly, it can begin in a quiet, glowing place within that I can look to when it's time for a decision, words, or action.  It can be happily filled and fed with joy and beauty.  In the end I aspire to offer days, moments, exchanges, words, eyes, heart, and a soul that Shines.

Yes.  That's what I want.  To shine.